When nothing you do can change my mind.

I don't think I'll call today "unfruitful" because I actually laid in bed & watched Freedom Writers, Resident Evil: Extinction & Shall We Dance (:

I hate the cough mixture the doctor gave me. Even though on the box it says, Blackcurrant flavour, it's really nowhere close to that. Not only it taste horrible, it makes my throat burn. Kind of makes me feel like I'm downing nail varnish remover. I really wonder how people can even abuse it, it seriously taste like, shit.

Not that I have really stuffed shit into my mouth, just a figure of speech.

Damn it's back to school for me tomorrow. Maybe I should go back to the doctor's & pretend that I'm really really sick & make him give me his whole book of MCs. Yes maybe.

I was looking through my pictures as a kid sometime last week. I was quite amused, yet sad, because I realised that all that innocence I had when I was a kid just isn't there anymore. I miss believing in everything. I really can't remember how I looked at the world when I was six. It's never going to come back & six seems a really faraway number. There are times I still want to be a kid, you know.

That feeling is like a missing piece in me & I think it'll always be there. Maybe, that's part of the reason why I find so much contentment in serving in the children's ministry. Though sometimes it can be quite physically draining, at the end of the day I always look back, give myself a pat on the back & feel satisfied.

Now who would I be ten years from now? When I become a mother myself would I still try to remember how I felt about the world when I was six? How about twenty? Thirty? Forty? Fifty?