! See you on the other side

Heeheehee.

Shifted, click here.

In front of my computer now with a cup of warm milo. Mmmm happy (:

I feel like changing my url again hahaha.

You saw me.

I'm back into this particular hue of the long wave end of the visible spectrum, evoked in the human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately six hundred & thirty to seven hundred & fifty nanometres.

Okay hahaha actually it's just the color, red.

I have a streak of magenta-red hair now.

Believe it or not I went to school today, & I actually got caught by the damn security guard for my untied hair & my coloured (red heeheeheeee) socks.

Security guard!!!! Just, what, is the world coming to?!

On a lighter note, I made my way to Queensway today to embark on the hunt of the Czech Republic Rosicky jersey, & the 07/08 season Manchester United jersey together with the older brother (I saw a Giggs figurine in one of the shops!!!!!!!!!!!)

Anchorpoint & Ikea have changed so much! I still remember the times when Leona, Wendy & I would make our way there on some random day after school & we'll push our bags around on the Ikea trolley. It was so ridiculous but man, those were the days.

I had two ten dollars voucher from Times bookstore, & today I used one of it, spent it all on the Manchester United album & seven packets of stickers. The older brother thought I went out of my mind, but that's okay I love them so much I want to give them all of my money (: I opened the first packet that the older brother picked, lo & behold - Ryan Giggs!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha I squealed uncontrollably & went jumping around the whole place. You turned alot of heads, the older brother said. I felt ridiculously stupid after that.

Moving on, we walked back to his place & settled at the koi pond. After having the thrill of opening the rest of the stickers, I made the older brother go upstairs to fetch his laptop just so I could see his pictures. Time flew as we laughed over stupid things & he told me stories behind some of the pictures from mission trip/Tioman (some of the pictures from Tioman were really insane, I laughed so much I thought I had abs.) We had a rocking time, thank you for the wonderful afternoon (:

• Stacy; says:
you remember the ten dollars voucher i have from times bookstore?
• Stacy; says:
today i spent the whole ten dollars voucher,
• Stacy; says:
on the man utd album, & 8 packets of stickers.
• Stacy; says:
i am going to use the other ten dollars on the stickers too HAHAHAHAAAA
FIONA;FNWQ says:
-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- HOW GREAT! NO HOPE SIAL YOU!

FIONA;FNWQ says:
anw , see any fabregas jersey ?
• Stacy; says:
yes, i was just about to tell you
• Stacy; says:
there were arsenal jerseys but....
• Stacy; says:
today i was wearing the man utd jersey, so i felt that if i went to look through the arsenal jerseys i'll be betraying man utd.

LOL.

But seriously, what would people think of somebody in a Park Ji-Sung Manchester United jersey, looking through, Arsenal jerseys?! Thankfully I didn't really browse through the jerseys for Fiona, otherwise I'll never be able to forgive myself hahahahahahaaaaa.

Tomorrow would be hardcore, I'll be in school from 8 to 4 & for the whole day, I'll be doing the most boring thing on earth.

3 guesses, on what this ridiculous thing is.

Where a Love once shined so bright.

I'm hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.

After what happened yesterday that left me in a heap of mess, I'm amazed I actually got through the papers today. When the invigilator said 'stop writing' at 1245 sharp, I mentally kicked the useless subject in the ass & waved goodbye to it.

Made an impromptu decision during lunch to go swimming today with Fiona & Lihong, we had such an insanely hard time just getting Lihong into the jacuzzi pool hahaha (It was only waist height.) Thinking back it was seriously quite funny. We were like, if you don't come down we're going to pull you!!!! & she's like OKAY OKAY!!! There's also something seriously wrong with Fiona. She kept laughing out loud everytime she tried to swim. The chlorinated water definitely did my hair no good. It feels like barbie doll's hair now ):

There are certain things, you'll only realise its importance when it's gone. & there are also certain things, that no matter how hard you try, or how hard you fight, you'll never get it back. You gave all of your heart, tried to hold on with everything you have, but in the end all of it crashed on you instead. When you sink into such despair, what do you do?

For me, I'm not running away. It's called escaping, really.

Teardrops on my guitar.

She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes, & know she's lucky cos'

You left me with no way out, forced me back to that one thing that I was so afraid of, yet I always found temporary relief in it.

So I felt the familiar pain. As the adrenaline coursed through my body, I watched, as crimson from deep within, poured.

The man I knew so well.

For the people who couldn't be there:











Hillsong United were awesome (Joel Houston cut away his hair!!!!) They were cool, but more than a month ago, Planetshakers & Tim Hughes did it waaaayy better.

Yesterday night my eyelids were as heavy as a tanker but I laughed so much at Fiona's post I became wide awake. I've been unceremoniously tagged by her (again) but I'm really lazy to do the stupid little thing.

Being the oh-so-perfect little sister, I stayed up to accompany the older brother while he was doing his thousand word essay on ethical dilemma. He wrote about euthanasia & yesterday while I was reading about it on Wikipedia my brain nearly exploded because I was having a huge argument with myself.

Euthanasia is a highly controversial subject, but is it right or wrong?

Actually, there isn't any right or wrong because it all boils down to one's beliefs, the morals & principals that they live by. Some people think that euthanasia is a merciful method of death but as a Christian, I personally feel that both involuntary & voluntary euthanasia are wrong because God is the giver of life, therefore He has the right over life & death. Humans are nobody to make the choice to end life. A person may be lying in a hospital after being pronounced as brain dead, but is God not keeping him alive? Therefore by voluntary euthanasia, this person is in a way, commiting suicide. & when somebody else (for example a close kin), makes a decision to take away the life of someone who is hopelessly ill, this person is commiting murder.

Just a thought. If doctors are the ones that carry out euthanasia, wouldn't they be helping the person to take away his own life, & thus commiting murder too? If that is true, I honestly feel that they have quite a sad life. Wouldn't there be quite a number of them burning in hell already?

Good luck to all O levelers, you guys are in my prayers.

You love a little bit but you forgot.

School's officially out! (Though my holidays is half non-existent)

Mr Wong is really leaving us this time, so today was kind of the last day that we're going to see him in the classroom ): thank you for all that you've done, you have been there since the very first day I stepped into the school. You had the choice of leaving us last year, but you didn't & it was all because of the class. I still hate the fact that you won't be around to see us conquering our final lap, but I guess it's true, everyone has to move on with life at one point or another.

Thank you for everything (:

I wonder who's the brave & daring soul that's taking over our class. Good luck to this person, really.

The sky will clear, you say with ease.

Leee-&-Draaa' ♥Jerb! says:
hey
ee tee; now im back in the game. says:
girl
i is a sucker :) says:
we
[K/D ] -* says:
want
behold,kryptonite. die!!!!!!!! says:
to
LΣΣ says:
let
Leee-&-Draaa' ♥Jerb! says:
you
ee tee; now im back in the game. says:
know
i is a sucker :) says:
that
[K/D ] -* says:
we
behold,kryptonite. die!!!!!!!! says:
love
LΣΣ says:
you

Awwwwwwwwwww thank you sweethearts I love you all too!

Just in case you're wondering why I'm already infront of the computer when it's only one thirty in the afternoon, yes yet another self proclaimed holiday. I doubt anyone who had stayed up for the match yesterday would bother to go to school.

I'm in quite a pretty mood today so I don't think I need to elaborate on the results (: of course I don't support the team just because of one player, but have I ever told you just how much I love Ryan Giggs?

Hi Dennis Goh, you owe me a Macdonald's meal now.

Open your eyes & take a good look at me.

One night & one more time,
Thanks for the memories
I (we, rather) skipped the morning run today. Went back to class, & slept. When Mr Sham came in, he was left with only about half an hour & he couldn't do nuts. So we slept. Mr Oon only told us to copy the answers for the papers & we were left with plenty of extra time. So we talked abit about soccer. & we slept. Mr Ng went through the Maths paper today but both him & Mr Wong barely cared about who was listening. So we slept. The next lesson Mr Wong broke the news to us that he was leaving ): A couple of us complained & felt sad for awhile but other than that, we slept. Ms Ng nagged quite abit ("Can you be more serious?" hahahahaaaa.) But almost nobody gave a damn to what she was saying during the lesson. So we slept. & during Chinese we argued with Mr Yip about Liverpool, Man Utd & the Euro Cup. Other than soccer we refused to hear what else he has to say. So, we slept.

What a perfect day. Days like these should last & last & last & last & last.

It's showdown tonight, & I haven't decided if I want to go with Korkor & his poly friends, or with Kieran & the rest of the gang, or to Fiona's (to be honest Fiona's crib is probably out because I'll end up watching the match alone. She'll be sound asleep even before half-time.)

Oh glory glory Man Utd!

Sometimes after I go a round, I always end up questioning myself: Why do I throw myself in such places, in such situations. It's like tearing my heart out & willingly (or stupidly) placing it in someone else's hands to break right infront of my very own eyes. Then after this I cry. I blame the person. I blame everyone else. In the end it hits me right smack in the face, hey, I asked for it.

I spent almost the whole of yesterday's evening crying. I know how much I hate to cry but it's like one of those moments that you just feel that you can't keep it in anymore because you're already about to explode. Or implode. It's not so much about what happened, or what anyone had said, anymore. Just because I had different views with somebody else, & I felt that I was in no wrong, I was labeled as someone who couldn't be more understanding. Maybe someone else was pissed, I don't know, all I know is that I was pissed, I was upset, & I guess it was quite obvious. But other that these superficial feelings, I don't recall how I had felt deep inside at that very moment. Maybe I don't really want to remember it.

I don't want anybody else apologising to me, for me. It barely makes sense to the rest of the world's population, I know. The older brother has been constantly reminding me since yesterday, 'don't blame yourself' & doing all he can to make me feel better. Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart. But it's either everyone else plus him doesn't realise it, or I'm imagining things. The latter is impossible, because I know what had fueled all of these.

It wouldn't hurt anyone else as much as it hurts me. It sounds darn selfish, like everything is all mememememe, but if you bother to put your brains into it & try to place yourself in this situation, I hope you'll realise that it's true.

It's time. I don't know how long I've spent thinking about this. All along I've known that at some point of time, I have to let some people down, one way or another. I know certain people expect me to do better, & it really sucks to disappoint them. It'll be really nice if I could please everyone. But I'm not Superwoman, even Superwoman has to consider her own capabilities, emotions & feelings. What happened recently, just proved to me that I really have to go. If I don't, I'll be throwing myself into that very vicious cycle again. I'm being very honest with my weaknesses because originally I thought I could, but I've finally raised the white flag to myself - I can't juggle so many things together. I've to set my mind onto something, be focused & attain it. I can't afford to decide, then something else crops up & distracts me from what I first wanted. I cannot, any longer, place my heart in someone else's hands & just watch as that person tear me apart - without even knowing it.

I will be stepping down from my commitments in JG & in Powerhouse. It's just a matter of when, & how long. Perhaps one day I'll come back to pursue my dream of becoming a worship leader. Yes maybe, One Day. It's really breaking me & it sucks to give up something that I have such a deep passion for. Sure, it's something that I truely love, but many things have been making it seem like just a weekly routine. Things have been downhill since the start of the year & I know I have to 'detach' myself because everything else, including my studies, is going down with it. On a brighter side, I'm quite proud of myself because I managed to put up with it & hang on for 5 whole months.

My strength to make it through was because of the strength that You have given to me, it was made perfect in weakness, & I thank You.

Maybe after the June holidays. I know I'll miss plenty of faces, yes, plenty...

Il&my.

Holding on before it fades away.

Hi sweetheart (:

Anyway, stayover at Tabbi's on Sunday was (insert a happy word.) A quarter into the night we jumped into the pool in our bikinis (Steph looked great in one!) & even later into the night it was Transformers (Oh I love Optimus Prime), the show wasn't even halfway through & the four of us finished two big packets of popcorn. Isa gave out almost towards the end, Steph had her eyes shut too but she claims that she was listening to what was going on (hahaha), so as usual, the cousins were the sole survivors. Had a short bitching session after the show & after awhile all of us just, knocked out.


<3
Sentosa with Fiona yesterday was quite (I said QUITE) productive because I actually got a tan. But, I fell to the victim of a jellyfish. My right arm now looks like it's having a really bad bout of rashes. The best thing was, before I got into the water, Fiona had been in there for about four thousand years & nothing happened to her. I merely wanted to go into the water to wash off the sand that was on me because I was on the shore tanning, but not even a minute into in & there was this annoying "jolt" on my arm & I was like, shit. Moreover, there were probably 42692501050351 people at the beach yesterday & only Me, Myself, & I, got stung by a freaking, jellyfish.

But I think that little jellyfish died quite a horrible death. Because when I came back from the Beach Patrol station (aka first aid station), there were 3 little japanese boys burying something. I was just wondering what they were doing when Fiona told me that they caught a jellyfish & they were actually burying it. I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before any of you ask any stupid questions, YES getting stung by a jellyfish hurts like hell & it kind of feels like electricity, only worst. YES I am fine, NO I don't have to go to the hospital to amputate my arm or anything.

So yes we had to leave Sentosa early because I was trying to keep my arm out of the sun & I couldn't let it touch seawater, so it was pointless staying on the beach. Met Justus Sim since he was at Vivocity anyway, & after Fiona left we decided to go to Dempsey Hill for Ben & Jerry's together with some of the other JG people.

When I saw Clement Quek I went "QUEK I GOT STUNG BY A JELLYFISH ):", he was like "Whaatttt?! Do you feel feverish? Or chilly? Anything?" Hahahahaha I was trying so hard not to laugh, typical nurse.

When we were in Ben & Jerry's my arm still had the very uncomfortable stinging sensation, & I thought the older brother must've been sick of hearing me whine, so I turned to Quek & decided to complain to him instead. He said he didn't know what would make the stinging go away, & I was like, "BUT YOU'RE A NURSE!!!!!!!!!!!"

We decided to head to Town after that, it was quite an afternoon I had with those people (:

Had a nice chat with Quek (aka Chuck Bass) when I got home, thank you so much so much so much so much for encouraging me, for trying to make me feel important as JGFC's #1 fan (also the 12th player on the field, he says), though I'm not sure if I still want to be the "#1 fan" or the "12th player on the field", I'm still very proud of you guys, really. Really.

Earlier today I was eating my lunch, msn-ing with Tabbi, on the phone with Lee, drying my hair, reading somebody's blog, & contemplating if I should get my ass out of the house for JG.

Talk about multi-tasking.


The older brother & I made an insanely impromptu decision to meet for dinner. But in the end we didn't even eat anything because we were nowhere near hungry. So we decided to catch Ironman instead (:

Ironman was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe just last weekend Quek was telling me he'd "give it a 4/10". He must be out of his mind. Ironman was a perfect mix of humour, action, & romance, complete with lots of kick-ass comic action. I wonder if the suit really exists...

Damn, Ironman II would only be coming out in 2010 ):

• ST★CY Equinox, says:
yeah you better otherwise i'd tie you to a chair & make you wear your ankle guard HAHA
Joel, law is great, but love is a greater law. says:
tie me to a chair
Joel, law is great, but love is a greater law. says:
then u'd better bring some rope
• ST★CY Equinox, says:
that's stupid i'd never be able to tie you down haha
• ST★CY Equinox, says:
more like YOU tie ME to a chair -.-
Joel, law is great, but love is a greater law. says:
haha obviously!
Joel, law is great, but love is a greater law. says:
i'd need to use lesser rope also. cause ur small.

IDIOT!!!!

Yes, again.

Damn my blog is going to be filled with all of these nonsense. All thanks to Meiqi & Neoneo Machi.

1) Why do you think is the reason why you lie?
- Because for some reason I'm not saying the truth?

2) Have you ever said you'll never be in love again?
- ZOMG when I was like, 12.

3) Is there something bothering you right now?
- Boo yes.

4) Is there something that you want to let go of?
- I think so /:

5) Do the old songs in the past really remind you of the memories?
- Yes, quite alot in fact.

6) How important is trust?
- No trust no r/s. Now tell me, how important it is.

7) Do you believe in soulmates?
- Man I really don't know.

8) Why do you answer surveys?
- BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE FIONA & MEIQI.

9) Do you always regret?
- Sometimes, but I get over it.

10) Do you believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder?
- Oh yes.

11) Do you believe that you have a guardian angel?
- Guardian angel? My God is watching over me (:

12) Do you find your ex gf/bf good looking?
- HAHAHA I think "he" knows he's good looking.

13) What will you do if you're stuck in the elevator with someone you don't like?
- Erm. Anything else. Unlike Fiona, who'll kick/punch/slap the person.

14) Would you ever want to go back to your past?
- Well it depends... Yes & no.

15) Do you really wanna please everybody?
- If I could, why not?

16) Is waiting ever okay?
- Is the person worth my time?

17) Right now, where do you wanna be?
- "There's nowhere else I'd rather be than here in your arms"... Hahahahaaaa.

18) When is enough, enough?
- When I feel that it's enough.

19) What are you sick and tired of?
- Of getting up early in the morning ):

20) What make you smile today?
- I woke up to a nice song on my radio, & Joel is feeling better, & I'm finally not stuck in Pokemon Yellow, & the weather was nice in the morning, & I had Long John's for lunch, & ......

21) Is looking good important?
- To a certain extent, yes.

22) What are you thankful for?
- For everything in my life (:

23) Do you believe in forever?
- Yes, for His love lasts for eternity.

24) What are your plans for the weekend?
- Catch up on sleep, JG, blah blah blah.

25) Do you say sorry first?
- In the past no. But I learnt, hah.

26) Do you believe that married couples should still go out on a date?
- Awww yes!

27) Has someone promised you something and broke it?
- Yep.

28) Do you want to go out of the country?
- Oh yes.

29) Does the rain make you gloomy?
- Sometimes.

30) For now, what is one thing that you want so bad?
- To touch my dream before I have to go.

31) Wishing you were with?
- Someone?

32) What advice can you give to someone?
- Erm I don't know.

For the record:
1. I gave you a part of my heart, but it's not yours to keep.
2. You never deserved me at my best because you could never accept me when I was at my worst.
3. You pulled my loved ones into the problems that only concerned us both. You never had the guts to face me on your own.
4. I know what you're doing behind my back. Unlike you, I actually use my brains to think.
5. I never belonged in your world. No scratch that, YOU never belonged in MY world.

No, you're really nobody to me now. I've all that I want without you & I'm mighty glad I moved on with my life. You can stay behind & rot, I don't care.

HI FIONA NEO, THANKS ALOT!! -.-

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
- My reaction? Isn't that quite a dumb question, I'd obviously be quite mad.

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
- All my dreams to come true (haha)

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
- Attend my wedding in about 10 years time & you'll know.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
- Definitely.

#5. What's your ideal lover like?
- You'll know the answer in about 10 years time because I'll be marrying my ideal lover. HAHA.

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
- Honestly, loving someone.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
- Well I'll have to take a step back & take a look from another point of view whether or not this person is worth my time.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? Wait for him/her to break up?
- If that were to happen, I won't look back. I'd probably just move on no matter how difficult it is.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
- A few.

#10. What do you want most in life?
- That's for me to know.

#11. Is being tagged fun?
- Neither tagging nor being tagged is fun -.- I'm just doing this because NEONEO MACHI thinks that tagging others is fun.

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
- Do I look like I know what's going to happen 10 years from now? I obviously wouldn't be the same. D'oh.

#13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
- There's quite a lot of people who are important to me. I mean there can't only be ONE person. I'm sure your mum is important but does that mean your dad isn't? Dumb question.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
- She is so full of shit.

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
- Right now, single & rich. HAH.

#16. What's the first thing you do every morning?
- Kiss my teddy bear (stop laughing I am serious.)

#17. Would you give all in a relationship?
- Well let's just say we have to see who this person is (:

#18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
- Erm somebody tell me how do you fall in love with 2 people at the same time?

#19. What type of friends do you like?
- I have friends who are full of shit. Like Neoneo Machi.

#20. If you played a prank on someone, & he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
- Laugh. D'oh.

Dhatt was sh0 stupiid, all thanks tuhh the ne0ne0 machii, make me d0 diishhx type 0f n0nsense.

Hahahahahaha shit I'm so disgusted at myself now. I took like forever to type out that sentence. I wonder how long twits actually take to type out one whole post in their blogs. I wonder if they even know that their typing actually causes normal people a major headache. I mean we don't even have to really read it (My that's really horrible. I think many of us would just foam at the mouth & die), just by scanning through it's enough to send many of us into convulsive epileptic seizures. What's more, they actually take a million years to type a post that's barely legible for normal human beings. I think twits are able to understand each others "language" because well, you know, they're all of the same species.

We can get away with this tonight.

(Quiet) overdued pictures that are already rotting in my computer.


Shit this is like the worst forced smile ever, as you can see I was holding a gazillion different things in my hands & the (very heavy) laptop was just about to slip out of my arms when Chris suddenly went "smile!!!!" so erm I did.


No I really don't know why I look so stupid. OKAY FINE I was whining my life away because the guys were taking forever.


ME YAY ME


Erm who's that retarded guy beside me?




Haha we all want Lester dead. But from his expression I think he really enjoys being squished by us.
Today has been another unfruitful day because I gave myself another day of holiday. I stayed in bed untill 11 or something. I think I really have to get my ass to school tomorrow otherwise people like WARREN LEE will start thinking that I died sleeping or something.

"The higher the expectations, the greater the fall."

I don't want to step away, because I really adore what I'm doing right now. But I don't think I can take another step like this. I don't want to let anybody down because I know that they expect me to do much better than this. Maybe they overestimated me. I guess I'm going to need time to think all of this over, I really hate to say this & as much as I want to, I've realised that I'm not Superwoman & I'm unable to juggle so many things at once.

My chance to breakthrough is within reach, but it really hurts me because now I have to let go of it & I might not be able to reach for this dream anymore. "One day", I always said. But it just hit me, this "one day" is going to pass me by & it might not come back anymore.

God, I really don't want to let this chance pass me by but I know I have no other choice. Would You let me have a go at this, once? Just once?

Just let me touch it once with the tip of my fingers. I'll always remember it. I'll tell the world of that one chance I had. I'll be contented.

For Fiona (:

Hi best friend, it's amazing how time flies. On this very special day of yours, I just want to tell you that no matter how many bad times we've been through, I'm really glad we stuck together.

Happy birthday, with lots of love.

We're one mistake from being together.

Hi everyone I'm in a very pretty mood now because:

1. Man Utd won yesterday night (obviously)
2. I can finally wave goodbye to the MYE. Does a happy dance.
3. Tomorrow would be a (self-proclaimed) holiday.
4. I came home, plopped on the bed & slept for 6 hours straight. Sleeping makes Stacy a very happy girl.
5. I'm very much in love,

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

WITH METRO STATION!!!!

Okay I will not start ranting about them because there'll be no end. I'll just say that they sizzle.

School was a waste of my time today. I wonder why the school just couldn't end the exam last week. I plopped on the table & fell asleep exactly half an hour after the paper started. Apparently I was not the only one because after the exam Fiona went "YOU KNOW! After half an hour I was already sleeping"...

Went eyebrow threading today with Fiona & yessss it hurts. Bearable but still, ouch. The thing that didn't make any freaking sense was that, some vainpot (Hi Joel) actually called me a vainpot. Fiona literally went ROFLMAO when I showed her the sms. I was like SHUT UP haha.

On a rather irrelevant note, I was ranting on to Joel about -------- just a moment ago, & we were talking about how -------- just wouldn't leave me alone during 06 youth camp & I got so scared of -------- I actually had to hide behind Joel's back. & how I threw a jellybean into Joel's instant noodles & you know the soup just kind of splashed onto his face (haha that was classic.) & how for the whole wonderful lovely night I was running around throwing his slippers here there everywhere & howwww, his old flame was actually talking to another guy for the whole wonderful lovely night.

Oh yes those were the days.

I'm going to spend the whole of tomorrow lying in bed & watching dvds. Recharge, & it's back to school on Wednesday to get back my papers.

Damn, Maths. Damn. I really don't ask for much because 51 marks is already enough (haha.)

Best thing about tonight is that we're not fighting

Could it be that we have been this way before?

Maybe I need more time to think over what I really want to do. I guess I really enjoy what I'm doing right at this moment, I know I can do so much more but now it's beginning to feel like it's a weekly routine.

Am I tired? Have I had enough? Should I go now? What's keeping my foot rooted to this place & to these people? What's making me turn back everytime I try to walk away?

Oh you know what I really don't feel like going on anymore. Because,

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

RYAN GIGGS JUST SCORED!!!!!!!!!!!

OH GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!!!!!!!!!!!

Now if she did it like this, will you do it like that?

Amazing is what I'd probably use to describe the works I saw yesterday at NAFA.

The bus ride to NAFA was really quite torturous because the ride, was, so, long.


My handmade birthday card to Sebas for his birthday, I went to Fiona's on Tuesday & decided to 'make' one impromptu-ly.


Surprisingly he actually kept it.








Haha she's like the pro of pros, she can even draw her eyeliner on the (moving) bus.

Okay I'm sorry no pictures taken at NAFA. Maybe except for this:


Hahaha I was so amused.
It was really funny watching the short advertisements that Wenkai made because I was looking at all the familiar faces in the little laptop. Felicia, Alaster & I managed to catch a blooper in one of the scenes & it was so retardedly funny.

After Fiona & Lihong left we walked to PS (Alaster tripped twice!!), & after Fel left for home Alaster & I walked all the way back to NAFA again -.-

So when we got back the both of us spent the next half an hour or so watching the short advertisements again & again & again & again & again & again & again & again & again & again...

Untill we stared at it for so long we found another blooper!

(Kai can't spell embarrassment, hahahahaaaa.)

Went for dinner after Kai "knocked off", together with Quek & Julyn. Alaster & Quek have friends like ALL OVER Singapore. One moment I'll glance behind my back & I'll be like where's Alaster/Quek? Someone would just reply oh he saw his friend.

There was no more spaces for Ironman at Cathay & PS (Alaster was so upset haha, he just simply refused to watch Dance of the Dragons.) Somebody suggested watching Harold & Kumar & I was like, hiiii has anyone realised that I'm not of age yet? ):

So we went to the TCC at Rendevous to chill & have another session of nonsense talking & bullshitting. What an absolutely perfect way to end my week (:

I was ridiculously late for JG today. Hah. Nuff' said.

He's tailor made for me.

Tonight I don't want to be on my own
Please monsieur, don't go.



I waltzed through my Chemistry paper today. It was such a breeze! I can't believe people like Warren who actually finds Chemistry tough. After the paper he told me "sure fail" & I was like HAHA I'd be the first to laugh at you if you get an A1 for Physics but a F9 for Chemistry.

_l_

That's for you Warren Lee, good luck. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

There's a lot of things that I want it to happen in my life & it's not that I don't want to try, but what if in the end the result isn't what I want? I know that this isn't the end & I know that I'm actually throwing myself into a very vicious cycle, but I can't stop. I can't stop now.

Forget it, if I continue brooding about it Joel is going to kill me. Why can't I just stop thinking for one minute.

On a lighter note, I'm actually looking forward to Kai's graduation exhibition at NAFA tomorrow.

This hasn't been a very good week & I just want it to end.

Everything seems so faraway. You included.

Sometimes I think what I need is a 'you' intervention.

Joel is doing his Accounts homework, the older brother is probably in bed because he's sick, & Your Royal Highness is really supposed to be doing some studying but...

Oh okay Joel is back. Maybe I should get him to help me solve the highly annoying "food" question that came out in my Maths paper today. I nearly tore my hair out while racking my brains. I felt like an idiot after the paper because my common sense was literally screaming at me that my answer was wrong.

I can't wait to get over the rest of the papers. This is probably like one of the rare times that I'm actually looking forward to a Monday.

(Tan Yaohui is currently making me feel like an idiot!!!)

You can stand under my umbrella.

My poor guitar has been literally screaming for attention.
Yes new blogskin obviously, thank you Mushroom for the HTML codes! Oh don't bother looking for navigations because there aren't any.

Anyway, if you guys are looking for my tagboard, you see the, "You'll always be my thunder" at the end of every post? Oh yes you do. Just click on it & there you go.

I wonder how many times I've repeated this but yes, Joel is such an retarded idiot.

• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
-mess your hair-
Joel: Sometimes the things we search high and low for are just next to us. says:
-knocks ur head-
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
-mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair- -mess your hair-
Joel: Sometimes the things we search high and low for are just next to us. says:
ENOUGH! -SHAVES BALD-

Joel: Sometimes the things we search high and low for are just next to us. says:
yea of course. i wont be retarded if nt good luck to those ppl i'm gona balance the accounts for
Joel: Sometimes the things we search high and low for are just next to us. says:
they'd probably get smiley faces instead of numbers

A dose of his laughing powder, he says.

Anywaywaywayway, I think I'll be burning midnight oil tonight. I'm going to own Maths this time round & make Joel spend money on Me. He should be quite thankful that I'm easily satisfied.

Slacking/shopping with Fiona & Lihong at Causeway Point was !!!!!!!!!! We bought like 10 bottles of nail polish so erm yes you can imagine just how crazy we were.

Damn the Art paper tomorrow. Damn, it.

No matter what happens, or how far you think I have gone away, you'll always be The One in my heart.

Standing up for you, fighting for your right, & going all out for you made me feel like it was the greatest damn thing I've done with my life.

Hi, you don't know it but I'm very proud of you.

Oh soccer stars.

The greatest reward of being JGFC's photographer, is watching the ball go past the opponent's goalkeeper.

But the part that suck most is probably sending out the pictures to everybody -.- I got SO mixed up I very nearly sent the pictures out to the wrong people.

Stacy is a very happy girl because I have very nice shots from today! Oh very nice shots indeed. But I really wonder why I keep "spasming" when it comes to Kang, Lemuel & Joel's pictures because they're all blur. Maybe, just maayyybeeee, they're moving too fast for me & my little camera.

• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
i keep spasming for your pictures
kang♪ says:
jialat la!!
kang♪ says:
purposely one right
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
NOOOOOOO
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
you should look at all the pictures of justus & warren
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
oh very wonderful
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
but your pictures are all blur LOL
kang♪ says:
THEN WHY YOU LIKE THAT!??!?!
kang♪ says:
*bash you*
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
I DONT KNOW!!!
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
MY CAMERA DOESNT LIKE YOU!!!!
kang♪ says:
haha ya right
kang♪ says:
skali is you dont like me
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
NOOOO
kang♪ says:
tell me that with next week's pictures
kang♪ says:
better take nice ones or i will make you buy a tripod
• ST★CY Re-bel(le), says:
chey, i thought you were about to say, "better take nice ones or I WILL BUY YOU A TRIPOD" hahahahaaaaa

He's tailor made for you.

Flowers, Sunrise, The Perfect Boy.

Thank you for waking me up at 5 in the morning.
Thank you for going all the way to make my day.
Thank you for being so wonderful, you're simply amazing.
Thank you for giving your all to make me smile.

Even though it's still the same ol' sun that shines down on us everyday, that sunrise we watched together was like no other. It was absolutely, breathtaking.

Benji is Love! <3

Sebas mimicking Dennis's girlfriend falling off the bicycle, & the rest of the company sucking up to Jacky's girlfriend... Blah blah blah. Barbeque at Sembawang Park on Friday was, watching-the-same-old-people-fool-around.




Me: These two pictures are like the best shots.
Cherlynn: Why?
Me: Because we can't see your face hahahahahaaaa.

Shit I'm such a mean bitch. Sorry love.










While we were walking up to Partyworld yesterday, Fiona was like, "everybody get out of the way because I'm walking!" The so-called birthday girl thought that the whole world belongs to her just because, she's celebrating her birthday.

Man & her birthday is like, another 9 days away -.-

Just what would she do on the 13th. Maybe she'll get everyone to bow down to her & say "Long live the queen" -.-

The few of us were going absolutely nuts even when Sebas & friends walked in ("HI SEBASSSS, HIIIIII!!!!" I went.) Fiona was like, erm hogging the microphone & jumping around the lounge. Untill later came Fiona's cousin & friends. THEN later came Xubin & Celeste Chen. I was thinking to myself, okay settle down & pass the mike to the superstar!

Just in case you didn't realise, it's a beautiful Sunday noon & I'm at home (: Sleeping in on a Sunday was just so wonderful. After all that's happened, be it those that included me in the picture, or those that had absolutely nothing to do with me at all, I'm beginning to feel like behind the God fearing people, the youth group is actually quite, messed up. Maybe I need more time to think over what I really want to do. I just don't feel like being anywhere else today.

Making my way down to Hiding Place later! Hopefully I'll really be able to work my magic today, otherwise if I produce lousy shots Kang is going to go, spasm kid, again.

I know the road is never easy but this is so tough. Maybe it isn't so much about chances. I'll Never be able to reach that high.

People are making me feel like shit again. Over & over, again. It's like some screwed up cycle that'll never bloody end.

Ever-y.

Today is a winding road,
that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go




Has the sky always been this blue?

Surprisingly, the paper today was quite a breeze. I hope I don't screw it. I hope. After the paper Warren was like, "A1! A1!!!!" & I, was happily thinking to myself if he'd be able to say that if he screws his Chemistry next week (haha.)

I miss Jasmine. I miss a lot of people. She WAS supposed to fetch me from school today (awww like how sweet), but I think something cropped up on her side & she had to go to Commonwealth, I MISS THAT BITCH LIKE 21432474967843625253.

The weekends are (finally) here. Just about another week more to go & I'll be considered a free man. Lady. Whatever. This whole week has been just like every other week. My life is half revolving around my books (yes, only half, or maybe just a quarter), & that, to me, is actually already quite depressing. I'm not even really into my books yet.

Times like these make me wonder if it's worth the fight. Sure, I do give a damn about my results, & I know the exams are important, but somehow at this moment I just don't want it enough to actually give it my all. I really wonder what the heck is wrong with me. Almost everyone around me are like mugging away & right now I'm sitting happily infront of the damn computer. I think I'm already half used to being the, slacker among the sea of muggers.

On a lighter note, something to look forward to: barbeque with Sebastian & friends + Fiona later tonight, & Partyworld (!!) tomorrow.

Maybe life isn't so bad. Maybe.

I LOVE JASMINE ENG HUIMIN!
I hope everything's going right for you, if you're happy, then so am I (:

Fiona & I had SUCH a good laugh about the twin pack condoms just now, it's kind of stupid to be laughing about it but HAHAHAHAHA 7-11 actually have promotion for, condoms.

Damn Physics. Life is so fucked up.

Joel: I should start studying soon.
Me: You? Study? Oh spare me.
Joel: You have a bowling ball? I'll spare you haha.
Me: -.-

Me: I can't study with the meatball around.
Joel: Why don't you eat the little meatball up.
Me: Don't be retarded why don't you eat him up for me.
Joel: Haha okay I like meatballs.

Joel really makes me wonder if there's actually a specific reason why I have such retarded people around me.

The is the last time.

So much dreadful shit has been happening, I swear there couldn't be a better time than this.

What do you do when someone you hold so close to your heart tears you apart? Do you cry? Scream? Runaway? Kick up a big fuss? I really have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I don't feel angry anymore, I don't even feel like cursing or hurling the F word at anybody's face. There is just this weird, deep, sinking feeling. It's like a bottomless pit. Maybe this is the real emptiness. Maybe this is really, disappointment.

I think I'm really done with crying. Crying doesn't make the situation any better, it only let the person who has inflicted damage on you know that he/she has really tore you apart. Travis hates to see me cry, & maybe that's why I hate to cry sometimes. Most of the time. I still remember when Travis left for Australia, I cried so hard at the Airport I had hiccups, but afterwards I actually told, or rather, promised him, that I'm never going to cry again. I've lost count of how many times I broke that promise.

There are times I think that it's quite useless to trust somebody, because this particular person would still hurt you in one way or another. Be it something they say, or something that they do. Two years ago Fiona gave me away with something that she said when I got into trouble with erm, certain people. When it was all over, I remember I used Rachel's phone, called Gary & I forgot how hard I cried. It wasn't because it had hurt on the outside, but it was mainly because she broke my heart into a million pieces. At that point of time I really wondered if it was deliberate. She was my best friend then besides Cherlynn & Rachel & I really wonder how long I took to build up that trust again. It's really amazing that even after everyone like YingShan & Rachel left, Fiona & I are still in this together.

Is there something I'm supposed to learn? Because if there is, I think I've not learnt my lesson because this kind of shit has been repeating itself over & over again. Maybe the closer the person is to you, the deeper the wound would be when he/she hurts you. & the more this person knows about you, the more he/she would know how to hurt you. When shit like that happens, it always forces me to take a step back & look at the whole thing, & of course the person, again. It forces me to look at things from a completely different point of view. It makes me think twice, about commiting myself again.

& when I finally do, things are almost never the same. Maybe there are certain exceptions, because Fiona & I are the best of friends now & every single day before I close my eyes & go to sleep, I thank God for giving me such a wonderful best friend.

I think I'd be able to get through this on my own, & get used to the life without some individuals. People come & go, I always tell myself.

Actually now I kind of feel a teeny weeny bit better, because I realised that I've changed quite a lot (for the better, not the worst, mind you.) I wonder how I would've handle this if I was still the me that's like erm fourteen or something. Maybe I'd try to smoke my tears away. Or maybe I'd be out getting a new penknife. I don't know. I wonder how I got through all that. I wonder how I broke free. I wonder how I really became me.

Maybe I should start being more optimistic. People actually believe in me, & that I can do it. Just a few days ago I was ranting on to Joel about how Maths is such an annoying subject & how I feel that I won't be able to do well for it, he actually turned the tables on me & I got quite upset because what he said that day made me feel even worse about myself, I actually told him that I'm not even going to get a tuition teacher, I am going to make it on my own & prove it to him that Stacy can. "That's the way", he replied. I was like haha Big Bully has been gone for so long but apparently Big Bully still knows, me.

He's not the only one, people like Kieran has been like making me feel even more inferior about myself whenever I feel like poop because he knows very well that I won't back down when he says something like, oh yeah I think you won't make it either because you keep saying that.

"Doing it the Stacy way", I call it. God made me Stacy. & like what I told Joel, I've to live up to it & not let the people that God has placed beside me down.

But maybe, I just need more time to think about how Stacy, would deal with all this shit.